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Today is my only full day in DC, so I wanted to be out enjoying the city. But when I woke up, I felt really crummy. I don’t know whether it was a bug, overheating, or something having to do with food, but I felt awful.

Whenever I tell anyone about my trip, their reaction is inevitably, “wow, that’s amazing! You’re going to have such a great time!” That expectation is in contrast with how I feel about the trip, though. I know I will have lots of adventures, and there will be ups and downs. But I’m more ambivalent about the trip than I am eager. I’m going to all these new places, and new places are scary and uncomfortable for me! I frequently feel like I would much rather be back home in Amherst or Boston, or spending time with Nicole.

So, I’m glad this trip is happening, because I will emerge from it with valuable experiences. But on days like today when I’m not feeling well, I am reminded of a 1996 Sesame Street episode, in which characters repeat again and again to Gabi, “It’s okay to be sad because you’re sick on your birthday.” It’s okay to feel sad when everyone expects you to be happy, especially if you’re sick or tired or stressed. Don’t worry, though. There are few things that are as exciting as feeling healthy for the first time after you’re sick. I expect Pittsburgh to be fantastic.

Today was the first ordinary transit day of my trip. The first day of transit, from Brattleboro to New York, was unique because I had been awake for more than 24 hours and slept through most of the ride. Now, after a stay in New York which “refreshing” doesn’t even begin to describe, I have shipped down to Washington. This is the sourthernmost destination on my whole trip. I have been here multiple times before, but I decided to stop here because I continue to feel positively towards this city: it is full of young informed people, it has a good contradance community, and it has a good subway. However, having seen all the major tourist destinations already, and only staying a few days, I have a special priority in this visit. My father grew up in DC, and I’m going to check out the house he lived in. I’ll be investigating my mother’s childhood home when I’m in Pittsburgh, too. These visits are something of a pilgrimage for me, because these places were the formative environment for two of the most influential people in my life. I’m not sure what I’m looking for, but I’m excited to observe the neighborhoods, and hopefully see the houses themselves and talk to their current residents. I will let you know how the visits go after I make them.

I leave DC on Friday afternoon. This trip is overwhelming, but it’s like when you’re playing a game and you know that a lot of the as-yet-unrevealed cards are the kind you want. This trip will be full of interesting encounters and experiences, and while I don’t know what they will all be, or their nature, I know they will happen, and that makes me excited with anticipation.

I’m on this crazy trip across the country, so reading this article on Get Rich Slowly was really interesting. One part of it that especially resonated for me was the section title “logistics aren’t easy”, because I spend so much time planning where I’m staying and how I’m getting there. The other section I related to was the advice to “Plan in excruciating detail — then throw it out the window” which is a way I’m trying to apply Gretchen Rubin’s “Let It Go” personal commandment. The security of having plans is great, but willful spontaneity is one of the best recipes for happiness.

There’s also an article on Zen Family Habits today with a simple message: you don’t have to fit to the mold. Do what you want. Live according to you. It’s short and is a great reminder to live the way you feel like living. In my life, I’m applying this today by just lying around most of the day, defying the impulse to go out and do crazy things around New York. There are fun things to do, and maybe we will do some of them later, but for right now, don’t listen to the plentiful advice about what you should do. Do what feels right.

This is the first day of my cross-country train trip. I’m getting on the train at noon in Brattleboro, Vermont, and arriving in New York City later this afternoon. I’ll chronicle my adventure bit by bit here on the blog, interspersed with other fare more like what I’ve been posting recently.

In New York I’m staying with Nicole, my girlfriend, who just graduated from Swarthmore College yesterday (congratulations, Nicole!) I’m excited to  introduce her to one of my oldest friends, who happens to be in the city these days. It’s another step in strengthening our connection. One other strengthening routine that I’m excited to implement with Nicole when she moves to Boston is to go for a walk every day. I got the idea from a recent post on Zen Habits about how to keep your relationship safe from the everyday stress and chaos that engulfs so much of our attention.

I’ll be in New York for two days, and then it’s off to our nation’s capital (as Forrest Gump calls it…”I’m glad we were here together in our nation’s capital”) for a few days. Thanks for being interested in hearing about my travels!

David Roberts has a scary article on Grist asking that question.

It’s entirely possible, even likely, that we’re going to be stuck helplessly watching as this well spews oil into the Gulf for years. Even if the flow were stopped tomorrow, the damage to marshes, coral, and marine life is done. The Gulf of Mexico will become an ecological and economic dead zone. There’s no real way to undo it, no matter who’s in charge.

This is such a tragedy, many people don’t even want to think about it. The way I react in crises is to analyze what needs to be done to solve the problem, but I’m flummoxed in cases like this where there may be no solution. I suppose my next reaction would be to ask what we can do to minimize the damage. Build a sea wall from Florida to the Yucatan? I don’t know.

Roberts reminds us that one major cause of this disaster is the fragility of the system we’ve built to feed our oil addiction. The article is very good; I strongly recommend reading it. We can point fingers all we want, and a certain measure of responsibility certainly lies in each of the corporate and regulatory players in the fiasco. The best way, though, to make sure something like this never happens again is to speak up for renewable energy and against fossil fuel extraction. Working to minimize our own fossil fuel use and that of other people also helps. Only from a vocal public will government have enough political power to overrule corporate pressure and do the right thing in energy policy. You can already see Obama trying to channel the outrage in this direction. Let’s help him out by directing our outrage appropriately.

How hollow do “Drill Here, Drill Now!” and “Drill, Baby, Drill!” sound now? Think Sarah Palin will campaign on that platform in 2012?

I remembered something the other day. I had revamped my Couchsurfing profile in the morning, and one of the (optional) questions was for ethnicity. I declined to answer, as I normally do when asked that question on a form, but seeing that surely contributed to the revelation I had later on: It’s easy to forget the privilege of being white, or being male, or being from the upper-middle class. Everything is a little easier for being any one of those things, and while a combination of all three doesn’t hand the world to you on a silver platter, it means that you start the game off with a serious societal advantage. There’s a certain amount of guilt and discomfort that goes along with recognizing such privilege, and some people I know have thought a lot more about it than I have. But because I don’t think about it frequently, I always appreciate being reminded of the privilege, because most of all it makes me grateful. What are your thoughts about privilege?

Next time you are hanging out with me, know that I enjoy time spent hanging out in trees more than I enjoy time spent shopping.

I went to Salvation Army yesterday and bought some clothes. I went by myself, and was done rather quickly. I was planning on taking the bus home, but because I missed one bus by several minutes and the summer schedule has about an hour wait between, I walked home on the bike path. The shade provided by the trees shrouding the path made the temperature perfect. I cleared a few small branches left on the bike path by the storm.

Later in the day, I hung out with some friends from high school. We went into Northampton, and they strolled around shopping while I tagged along. I enjoyed hanging out with them, but after a while, I usually tire of consumerism. So I left one store and climbed the tree right outside it. That was a much preferable location.

Next time I see you, if we have the option of looking at things in a store or climbing a tree, may I suggest that we consider the latter option?

Today I got done the two most intimidating items on my to-do list: the phone interview from yesterday and a call to the Tufts financial aid office. Neither really felt too stressful at the time, but once I got them done, I felt great, like I’d had a weight lifted off my shoulders. I’ve written before about how doing such things can feel great, but it’s important to remind oneself. Furthermore, an original insight for this post is that stressful things aren’t always identifiable as stressful in the heat of the moment. But if you can manage to put your finger on what it is you’ve been putting off, do it, and you’ll feel great.

[Other great happy things right now: these two baked goods from Rao’s Coffee in Amherst. I swear their baked goods under the new management rival the Black Sheep Deli. And another great coffeeshop-related happy thing: I ran into an old friend from high school! We caught up a bit and are hanging out more later tonight! Yay serendipity!]

I spent most of today being anxious over the scheduling of an interview. The main problem was that there wasn’t specific enough conversation far enough in advance. Everything is resolved now, but the lesson I learned from the experience is that when responsible people are very busy, sometimes they don’t get back to you. That’s okay; we’re all inclined to do it. But when you don’t hear back in a timely fashion from someone you expect to, make a follow-up call. Doing that a week ago would have saved me all the subdued anxiety I felt today.

I had such a productive afternoon. I called people I needed to call, I sent emails right and left, I researched things I needed to research. And yet, at one point, I’d only crossed one thing off my to-do list. I bet you’ve experienced something similar if you keep to-do lists. It can feel depressing, because it feels like you’re treading water.

But I look at it a little differently. It is the feeling of productivity itself that is fulfilling for me, the feeling that I’m getting important things done. The to-do list is just a reminder of some of those things. So, this phenomenon of doing important things which aren’t on the list is more an indication of my list’s inadequacy than an indictment of my time management. I should make a better list next time. It’s a much more positive way to look at things.