Category: Uncategorized

Last night I had a dream, and it didn’t let me go when I woke up. I dreamed I had left my backpack (out of which I am living, in my waking life) on the Amherst Town Common, under a tree. By the time I realized that I had done so, a full day had passed. Instead of worrying about it disappearing, though, I was instead horrified to realize that it had rained the night before. All of my life, it seems, was soaked through: electronics, books, clothing, every thing. What was unique about this dream, though, was the sense of hopeless despair with which the dream concluded; frequently in such dreams there is some resolution. I wonder if that contributed to the state I found myself in upon awaking.

Dreams are such fascinating things. There is surely some meaning there, whether predictive or reflective or both, I do not know. Yet the aspects of the dream which contain those relevant structures and themes are hidden amongst static noise that is merely entertained by our minds to craft a semi-sensical story. Was this dream a reference to something important I’m forgetting? Was it a testament to the insecurity of putting all your eggs in one basket? To the power of nature? To the fear of loss? Or perhaps there was something more mundane yet significant about the dream, which I’ve already forgotten? And none of this is even taking into account the symbolic linkages discovered by the traditions and research of dream interpretation. To me, the meanings of dreams are impenetrably opaque.

And when I awoke this morning, some of my sensory feelings still felt to be in a dream. The outdoor department brunch I attended amidst the sunbeams seemed to be in a familiar place (the top of my childhood street) though of course there were many spacial cues indicating otherwise. This was as in dreams when your surroundings so frequently seem familiar. My speech was quiet and subdued, as it is in a state of half-dreaming. While aware of what I should be doing socially, I was instead single-minded in my preoccupation with this dream, compelled to write it down. This despite situations where, waking, I would interact more and go with the flow. Perhaps my writing here is even gobbledygook, though it seems coherent to me.

Dreams and waking are fascinating to ponder. I really must watch Waking Life again, though it is a bit drugged-out for my taste. Do you have thoughts or experiences about dreams? I would love to hear them.

I was waiting for the train today in Philadelphia, and I struck up a conversation with a 50-ish black man sitting next to me. His arm was in a brace, and I asked, “what happened to your arm?” Throughout the conversation, we talked about sewing machines (he worked as a fashion designer for a long time) and the importance of reading (he just came out with a children’s book which uses hip hop to attract kids to reading), and nutrition (I was giving him a brief summary of what I’m reading in Michael Pollan’s Omnivore’s Dilemma). It was a lovely conversation.

As a progressive white person from a relatively homogeneous community, it’s uncomfortable for me to realize that I don’t think much about race or talk much to people of ethnicities different from mine. This conversation made me feel really good, but also evoked those uncomfortable feelings. What’s your perspective on such things?

Facebook keeps messing with its users’ privacy. But that doesn’t concern me very much. I know that everything you put on the internet is visible, more or less, to some people you wouldn’t choose to see it. Also, I feel that people should have consistent personalities throughout their lives, and that the best way to get openness and community back from the world is to approach everything with a sense of openness and community. That means sharing your consistent self to a reasonable extent on Facebook. What’s a “reasonable extent”? That’s up to you. But I restrict most things to some combination of Friends, networks, and “friends of friends”, with only a few things visible to the dreaded “Everyone”. How you manage your Facebook privacy is up to you. Go tinker with the settings.

In general, I think there’s a peculiar tendency in our rapid-communication culture to feed fear, notably in the arenas of child abduction, privacy issues, immigration, and foreign policy. Fear is the root of all evil. I think encouraging fear is silly and irresponsible. So let’s cast off our fears, like New Yorkers do after every new terrorism scare. Let’s count our blessings, our reasons to be thankful and cheerful (though maybe not as literally and cheesily as that article does).

To be sure, the world is not an entirely bright and shiny place; there is hate, there is fear, there is corruption, there is poverty, there is careless greed. But there is also innovation and empathy, volunteering and social get-togethers, creativity and passion, intelligent young folks and knowledgeable old folks. No, the world is not fair, but which side of the coin you choose to look at is up to you. I choose to look at the better side, which is our best hope for solving the problems of the other side. I hope you’ll join me in that positive outlook.

I’ve recently realized something cool about portable electronics. Many of us are very addicted to our laptops, constantly keeping us plugged in to the internet. That’s nice, but that attachment is to the detriment of time spent on real things in real life: doing productive things around the house, going for walks and being part of the community, talking to people who are really present.

But fortunately, there is a built-in timer telling us when it’s time to go and do something that’s actually important: battery life. I’ve found that my laptop battery nearing emptiness is a great indicator that I should turn off the computer and do something else. Now, maybe this is just because after a couple minutes, I really shouldn’t be on the computer at all, and the battery running out makes me realize the insignificance of my online pursuits. Or perhaps my range of internet activity is well-suited to segments of a couple hours each. But I prefer to see it as a convenient coincidence, a useful conceptual cousin of planned obsolescence. So next time you’ve been on your computer for a few hours and see that low-battery notification pop up, and you have the option to plug in or shut down, give the real world a try. It’s a nice place.

“The people that are the hardest to love are usually the ones that need it the most.” ~ “The Peaceful Warrior” (2006)

Leo Babauta of Zen Habits wrote yesterday about kindness, and the post really resonated with me. He focuses on the connection between mindfulness and kindness, but I was struck especially by two paragraphs. The first:

When someone comes to talk to you, when your kid tugs on your pant leg for attention, when your spouse or best friend starts speaking, turn to them without distraction, putting everything else away, and give your full attention. Listen.

This makes a lot of sense to me, and is something I’d like to get better at. Too often in our culture when we are talking to others we are merely waiting for our turn to speak; really listening is about giving all your attention to the person you’re talking to. Let’s do more of it.

The second paragraph that struck me:

Consider: when you react to others with anger or meanness, you are putting yourself in an angry mindset, a bad mood. You’ll likely feel pretty crappy for at least an hour, if not all day. When you are uncaring or indifferent to others, you also create an empty, blank feeling in yourself, a void that cannot be filled with gadgets, social networking, shopping, food, or possessions. When instead you are kind, you build a good feeling within yourself, you make yourself happy. In effect, you are being kind to yourself.

Then the second paragraph there reminds me distinctly of the mantra I learned from Gretchen Rubin, “Act the way you want to feel.” I think it’s the most powerful insight I’ve heard. Babauta casts this as a super-literal formulation of the Golden Rule: because how you act toward others has a direct effect on how you feel, you should be kind to other people for the sake of your own wellbeing!

Of course, it’s not always easy to be kind to everyone all the time; Babauta acknowledges this. But maybe keeping in mind these benefits of being kind will make it easier. When you’re tired, when a person is hurting someone or something you care about, when a person seems to care little for others. If we approach these situations with this new motivation toward kindness, maybe they will be easier to deal with! I’m excited about this.

One summer when I was in high school, I took on the project of tending some morning glories. I was quite enthusiastic about these plants. I tended them, checked on them, and they finally grew beautiful flowers.

This experience was one of my first appreciations of something for purely aesthetic reasons. Before it, I had looked with mild scorn upon those things that did not serve a pragmatic, utilitarian purpose. This was the first time I recall perceiving profoundly the beauty of the natural world.

Now, I look around and rejoice in the life I see in the bright green leaves of the trees, in the fresh and forcefully rising blades of grass. I smile at birds, hesitantly landing near me to feast on morsels discarded by wasteful humans as refuse. I am grateful for the morning glories, because they began this appreciation. I breathe in the warm spring breeze and I remember them.

There’s a guest post on Zen Habits today by Anastasiya Goers of Balance in Me, and while it has some good things to say, it misrepresents the benefits of having a balanced life, as well as how easy it is to get there.

Behavior change is very hard, one of the hardest things there is. Have you or anyone you know ever tried to quit smoking? Changing your habits is usually as hard as that, even when it doesn’t involve drugs manufactured for the purpose of addiction. So when Goers says, “Living in balance is easy and very rewarding because your life becomes the one of joy, happiness and serenity,” she’s not being honest.

Furthermore, the tone of this article implies that everything will be rosy and happy once you achieve this balanced life. Goers gives caveats, but her tone is set by the following description of the benefits of balance:

– you enjoy every moment and every second,
– you can cope with any difficulties,
– you can be happy without any reason to be happy,
– you can be yourself and love the person you are.

With this tone, she downplays the crucial insight of balanced living: that there are bad times just as there are good times. It’s about learning to appreciate every moment of your life regardless of whether it makes you feel crummy. You will feel crummy. Implying otherwise as Goers does is just dishonest.

That said, she touches on many good points, and encourages her readers to pursue unambiguously worthy goals: mindfulness, patience, simplicity, taking care of your body, and creativity. We could all do to live more balanced, centered lives, but we shouldn’t have any misconceptions about it. Life is rough and dirty, and these tools merely enable us to cope with it better.

My day was consumed yesterday by my burning need to watch Tuesday’s episode of Lost. As I was walking around Somerville, Cambridge, and Arlington impatiently searching for an internet connection strong enough and reliable enough on which to watch this episode, I realized how similar this urge is to the desperate urges of a junkie. Television shows are a drug. They can create addictive behavior. I don’t like it.

On the other hand, vibrant stories have been respected methods of entertainment throughout human history. Story-telling is an ancient folk art, and whether it is oral, written, video, musical, or visually artistic, it’s all basically the same thing. So in that way, I feel good about my five-year Lost habit. It’s an intricate, captivating story.

But Lost ends in seventeen days, forever. I am glad of that. It will give me more time and energy for more productive and social pursuits. I look forward to celebrating the end of this era in my life.

I have been thoroughly impressed with my current hosts. There is freshly made chocolate and strawberry ice cream in the freezer, a tupperware container full of fantastic black bean soup in the fridge, and chickens out back sitting on eggs. We just shined a light through one of the eggs and saw a little baby chick growing inside. This is the life I want to have when I have a place of my own: making good food, connected to nature.

Do you know of good resources for learning to have a simple, homespun life in the city? I know less than I like, and want to know more!

This is the second installment of my ideas series.

• Why aren’t there more 24-hour bike shops? I was walking by one shop recently and ran into my friend dropping her bike off after work, and then when I came by on the way home, it was closed. Wouldn’t people love a bike shop where they could drop their bike off after work and pick it up before work the next morning? Wouldn’t the shop get a lot of business if they were open, or at least working, through the night? I understand that it’s no fun working at night, but there are a lot of people out of work these days who would take what they could get. Are there more 24-hour bike shops than I’m aware of?
• Why aren’t there more tool libraries? Toy libraries? Book libraries work so well, as does ZipCar (which resembles a car library). The idea of product service systems has been discussed for a while, but why haven’t we heard more about it? Why has this idea not completely taken off? I should start a community-based product service system. So should you. Let’s do it.
• A big problem for public knowledge of government expenditures is the fact that “million”, “billion”, and “trillion” are all really big numbers, and besides that it’s hard to distinguish them. One way that stumbling block could be removed is if instead of reporting primarily dollar figures, news, governmental, and nonprofit organizations focused on the percent change over the previous year, as well as over the average of the last five, ten, or more years. This idea came to mind when I was hearing about the federal budget; change over previous years is much more relevant in budget news than is hard numbers. Maybe this focus on percent change rather than isolated dollar amounts is already standard practice, but I’m not aware of it. If that’s not how things are usually presented, it should be.