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I woke up this morning to one of my hosts expressing anger that I have been eating their food. It’s really a matter of miscommunication, and I hope to resolve it soon. Then I checked my emails, and there was one from a friend on an emotional topic that required a thoughtful response. What these two events illustrated for me is that it’s really not fun waking up to emotional turbulence. Doesn’t take Socrates to tell you that, but it’s important to acknowledge obvious observations when they come your way, otherwise you might forget! And there’s little more embarrassing than overlooking something obvious.

But then, I embarked on the short walk to Tufts in the lovely weather. I ran into a friend, and ended up walking the rest of the way to campus with a friend of his, having a very nice conversation (she got into vet school on her first try! wow!) I sat down on the grass under a tree. I read and answered the emotional email. I talked with several friends about the turbulence of the morning. All very helpful.

Then I got up to go somewhere with less computer-screen glare, and noticed that the doors of the beautiful Goddard Chapel were wide open. I walked inside, and it was empty. The openable windows were also open. The cool breeze in such a totally serene place was absolutely perfect. I sat down inside on the red-carpeted steps to the second floor, and failed to connect to the wireless. I turned off my computer and went to the computer lab next door. But oh my goodness was the experience helpful for restoring my emotional even keel.

Things I have learned this morning:

• It sucks waking up to unpleasantness.
• Talking to friends about unpleasant feelings really helps a lot.
• Sitting quietly in serene places is one of the best ways to restore calm.

Related to that last revelation, there was a link on Lifehacker this morning pointing to 6 podcasts of hour-long meditation classes. I downloaded them, and look forward to listening. Hope they’re helpful for you too!

Some people are just lucky; they always get the big breaks, and they don’t have to work very hard for opportunities to just fall into their lap.

At least, that’s how it seems sometimes, especially when you’re feeling depressed and down on yourself. In reality, everyone who gets offered a cool job or a prestigious opportunity projects a certain persona which is attractive to the people providing those opportunities. This persona is of a productive and creative person who does amazing things, seemingly without effort. Sometimes that image is authentic, sometimes it’s partially fabricated, but either way, it’s largely about self-marketing, and it’s always a lot of effort.

There are several characteristics that lend to a more attractive persona:

1. A social presentation well-suited to connecting with people. Show an interest in the people you meet, and offer them occasional thoughts connected to their interests.
2. A compulsion to productivity. Your productivity could manifest in all sorts of way: writing profusely, organizing great events, becoming a great musician, or a great juggler. There are many kinds of productivity, but productivity itself is what you need.
3. A positive outlook. It’s okay to be cynical; that comes with any awareness of the world’s problems. But balance that cynicism with some optimism. It’ll make people like you a lot more.

It’s not easy. Changing your mental habits is just about the hardest thing there is. But you can do it. Act the way you want to feel. It works. And making yourself into a more successful person might be as simple as those three steps. Why not give it a try?

Wouldn’t it be great to have a place on the internet where there was an easy visualization of when Easter and Passover fell each year? Many people plan events for the springtime, and such conflicts are a always a concern. Well, now there is! You can find it here, or by clicking “Projects” from the menu at top. I’d love to hear what you think! And if you have friends responsible for organizing springtime events, send the link to them! Maybe it will be helpful.

One aspect of my current itinerant lifestyle is my reliance on many fewer physical objects than most people. One caveat is that I am using a lot of other people’s things: food-related items, for example. Therefore I don’t need as many things as a settled person. However, this article by Leo Babauta at mnmlist reminded me that lots of material possessions are not really necessary, even for a settled person, even for someone with multiple children.

[Edit: this is also a cool way to reduce your need for stuff]

Another related point is a realization I had today while playing board games at a friend’s house: we are strongly acculturated to focus single-mindedly on making money. In these board games (Power Grid, Puerto Rico), money is important, but only because it’s the primary way to get “victory points”. But in real life, while money can help you be successful, there are many other paths as well. What’s important is to define what success in life means to you. This really amounts to identifying what you value. It takes a lot of thinking. I put a high stock in the basics, and after those are achieved I’m interested in making music, making change, and making friends. All of these things can be accomplished with a minimum of money and physical things, so I attempt to deny those areas of my acculturation. But that’s just what I’m interested in. You don’t need to place importance in the same things as me, but you do need to figure out what is important to you. So think about it! You’ll be glad you did.

Last night in the car I had a great conversation with my friend Dave, who’s at Harvard Law School with the intention of becoming a labor-side lawyer. We spoke about unions and politics, and it was very interesting. We talked a lot about the Employee Free Choice Act (EFCA), a piece of legislation that has been tabled by the Democratic Leadership for the time being, but which is extremely important to enact at some point in the future. Basically, the legislation makes it quicker and thus easier for workers to form and join unions. Unions are responsible for so much that is good and humane about our working lives, and help protect workers in every industry from abuse by their employer. The way union formation happens now is similar to what things would be like if one political party ran our federal elections: companies don’t want unions to form, and have vast control over how the votes are conducted. Union organizers are fired, there is rampant interrogation and propaganda, and it’s about as Democratic as “elections” in failed states. So, EFCA is a big deal. There was an article on Open Left in October of 2007 about positive feedback loops for progressives, one of which is EFCA. I highly recommend it.

One other thing we spoke about was the apparent difference in party discipline between the Democratic and Republican parties. A major reason why it’s so hard for Democrats to govern effectively despite their 60-seat majority is the fact that conservative Democrats in the Senate vote against (or threaten to vote against) the party line at a much higher rate than the few moderate Republicans do. One reason for this trend is that Republicans are much harder on their members who turn coat than Democrats are. I had the realization last night that while Republicans are generally short-sighted in terms of policy, this habit of the Democratic leadership is an example of Democrats being short-sighted in terms of politics. If Democrats withdrew support from those members who most frequently bucked the party line, they might lose a couple of seats in the short term, but in the long term they could well create a much more loyal caucus, and thus be more effective. I am no expert in politics but that’s my observation and pipe dream. I just know that I enjoy talking with intelligent, like-minded people about politics. Are you like-minded and interested in these things? Let’s talk!

Last night, I decided on a whim to email an intellectual rockstar. We read Daniel Gilbert’s book, Stumbling on Happiness, in my senior philosophy seminary, and ever since that class, the thoughtful pursuit of happiness has been prevalent in my thoughts. Gilbert is a professor at the Harvard Psychology program, so I decided to go for it and invite him out for coffee.

Unsurprisingly, he responded with a template email politely declining. He wishes he could accept all such invitations from people who have appreciated his work in the popular media, but there are so many that that would be impractical.

This response set off a torrent of emotions in me, and allowed me to consciously observe a few discrepancies between emotions and rational thought. Though I understood the reasons for the response and would likely do the same in Gilbert’s position, I felt rejected, and hurt by dashed hopes. But the rationality-nurse in my mind quickly calmed the visceral impulse to cry at these setbacks. Instead, I reminded myself that it’s good to consider your interactions from the perspectives of the other person, because it’s hard to get upset if you would do the same thing in their place. Also, it’s important to respect the methods others use to achieve the goals that we hold ourselves, and perhaps even learn from them.

When we have sad emotions, we address them in the most effective way we know, and for me in this case, that means I’m going to seek interaction this morning with friends and loved ones. Little is more validating than being close to those who love you.

…is getting enough sleep and getting enough to eat. Drinking water helps. And getting enough social interaction. These are my usual suspects for when I’m grumpy or depressed or stressed out. Keep them in mind! They’re important. Now I’m going to go eat and take a nap.

Today, Sarah Palin and the Tea Party Express came to Boston. I attended a counterprotest, called The Real Boston Tea Party. The purpose of the event was to emphasize civility and politeness in a somewhat absurdist fashion. Approximately 150 people were in attendance, compared to the several-thousand strong crowd across Boston Common (though it should be noted that there were nearly as many counterprotesters at that event as actual teabaggers). I was concerned at first that the counterprotesters would have difficulty remaining apolitical, but after several hours, all encounters with people wishing to pick fights were gracefully defused with politeness. Several anecdotes from the day:

1. The ride down to Park Street on the T was wonderfully metaphorical. All these people of different lives and opinions squished together in a small space, forced to interact with each other as equals. Two women near me began chatting about the difficulty of eating on the subway, and eventually ended up exchanging professional information, as they were both writers. When we got to Park Street, one woman ended up going over to the Tea Party protest, and one to the counterprotest.
2. Another encounter I had on the T with actual Tea Party protesters: I started a conversation with them about their Ayn Rand signs and told them I was going to Boston Common as well, and we had a pleasant conversation in which I avoided letting them know that I was going for the counterprotest. For me, the event was about how we’re all humans and Americans, and we should be able to converse politely as people. I had fun talking to these folks, and hearing about the woman’s experience working for 30 years in the Department of Education, as well as running a toy store for five years in Faneuil Hall. It was fun discreetly hiding my political leanings from them.
3. There was a young boy who I caught a brief glance of who was dressed up as a bat (bat boy?) holding a sign that read “Tea for Bats!”
4. We had one visitor at our tea party who was a counter-counter-protester, who had a fluorescent green arrow with “liberal moonbat” and “fake tea party protester” written on it. She was sunglassed and had headphones on, connected to her wealth of fanny packs, so it was difficult to converse with her. However, many people offered her cups of tea as she wandered through the small crowd, frantically standing for a few seconds next to different groups of people. At last, one very-prepared man (he brought many edibles as well as a camping stove) got her to take a cup, and there were pictures taken of her holding it. Sometimes you can neutralize hatred by opening your heart and your pantry to your aggressors. This is why hospitality is so great.

The event had a very successful air about it. I hope something is published about it by some of the media outlets who were there. You can organize something similar! Go be civil!

Last night I went to a BCMFest concert at Club Passim in Cambridge. It was truly magnificent. Club Passim is a tiny little intimate venue, and the event last night featured two bands of amazing virtuosity.

Opening was a new trio composed of Bronwyn Bird on nyckelharpa & accordion, Julie Metcalf on viola, and Mariel Vandersteel on fiddle. These three young roommates from Jamaica Plain dazzled the crowd with tunes from Sweden and the British Isles, songs filled with close harmony, and general silliness climaxing in a whoop-filled polka. Their playing was impressive, and Bird’s homemade nyckelharpa was a fantastic instrument that much of the audience was newly introduced to.

The second act completely blew me away. The band was Matching Orange, a contradance band who, apparently, is also phenomenal in concert. The band is composed of Eric McDonald on guitar and vocals (though I believe he may occasionally play mandolin as well), Brendan Carey Block on fiddle, and Julie Vallimont sitting in for Eric Eid-Reiner on piano. They played jigs and reels with both attack and finesse, and McDonald’s traditional songs added a dimension to the band not normally seen in their normal contradance style. I had noticed McDonald, Vallimont, and Eid-Reiner at contradances before for their talent beyond their years, but this was my first introduction to Carey Block. He uses the fiddle as any skilled craftsman uses a tool to produce a superior product, in a seemingly effortless fashion. According to the band’s website, Carey Block “has performed with countless notable artists, including Natalie MacMaster, Jerry Holland, The Battlefield Band, John Whelan, Alasdair Fraser, Cherish the Ladies, Brenda Stubbert, Gaelic Storm and Jay Ungar.” That is an impressive list. I look forward to bathing in this band’s ecstatic energy again, and encourage you to take any opportunities you have to do the same.

Leo Babauta has a good post on Zen Habits today (surprise surprise) called “the zen of doing“:

If you’re washing a dish, do it slowly, and feel every sensation. If you’re eating a fruit, taste it, feel the textures, be mindful of your hunger or lack of it. If you’re writing something, pour your heart into that writing, become the writing, inhabit the words.

This is mindfulness. I don’t consider myself Buddhist, but I do find a tremendous amount of wisdom available in Buddhist concepts and teachings. Try it! Just focus on one thing at a time. Stop reading this article and do what you need to do. Enjoy it!